


Perhaps

by Donnerita



Category: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 6,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27095827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donnerita/pseuds/Donnerita
Summary: “Lady Catherine’s unjustifiable endeavours to separate us were the means of removing all my doubts. My aunt’s intelligence had given me hope, and I was determined at once to know every thing.”Lady Catherine does not speak to Mr. Darcy in London, so Mr. Darcy’s doubts recede more slowly. Perhaps he and Elizabeth will never come together after all (spoiler: they do).
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley
Comments: 28
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

Mr. Darcy received news of the flood on his first morning in London. An unseasonal, heavy rain had caused the banks of the river on his estate to overflow. A dam had failed. Many crops, ready for harvest, were destroyed, and several tenants’ buildings had flooded. Some loss of life was certain, though the magnitude not yet known. 

Within half an hour, Mr. Darcy was on the road to Derbyshire, anxious to do everything he could to lessen the suffering of those under his protection. Rationally, he recognized that he could do little. His steward knew the tenants & crops better than he and would handle the disaster well. But Darcy could never leave his own responsibilities to the care of others. He himself must take action. And so all his vague hopes for the autumn - to return to Netherfield and somehow prevail upon Elizabeth to love him - were temporarily halted. 

Mr. Darcy spent the next several weeks toiling at his estate. The farm losses were not as substantial as first feared - 2000 pounds perhaps, less than he’d spent to bribe Wickham in August. Darcy had no familial dependents, except his sister who was still not out, and lived frugally, or as frugally as is possible for the very rich. In prior years he had saved rather more than spent his income, which rendered this year’s expenses bearable. 

The loss of life was more substantial. The floods came at night, and four families lost children. The families’ out buildings, homes, and crops were also largely destroyed. Mr. Darcy organized efforts to repair the homes as quickly as possible and began to consider how best to provide food for the survivors to further survive through the winter. 

(Mr. Darcy did not hear from his Aunt. After she left Elizabeth, Lady Catherine called on Mr. Darcy in London to express her disapprobation, learned he was safely at his estate, and left. She was never a great letter-writer, since she could not witness the recipient’s acquiescence, and so did not write. She would handle the situation when next she heard that Darcy had settled in town.) 

He received regular letters from Bingley - merry scribbles about his engagement and joy and lovely Jane. Darcy accepted his invitation to be groomsman, and so worked all the harder, knowing that there was a firm date on which he had to leave Pemberley. 

Mr. Darcy made it to Hertfordshire for the ceremony, barely, arriving at Netherfield the evening before the wedding. And thus he saw Elizabeth for the first time in a month in the church, and at the breakfast thereafter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will focus on the romance, which is what we all want, but I had to create a good reason for Darcy to leave London. Plus, man-of-action Darcy and generous-landlord Darcy are hot.
> 
> I think modern readers tend to imagine Darcy as comparatively richer than he actually was. He was very rich, but not the richest in England by a long shot. Jane Austen’s brother inherited three estates worth $16k/year, but he had dozens of dependent family members he needed to support, so was relatively cash poor. Darcy seemingly doesn’t have anyone to support other than his sister (whose wardrobe for the London season would someday cost a fortune, but hadn’t yet), so has plenty of cash available to pay off Wickham and help his tenants. At least that’s how I read it.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Darcy looked out across the many people squeezed into the Bennets’ drawing-room and drew a deep breath. He hated crowds and, after Elizabeth’s rebuke of his manners in April, hated that he hated them. Elizabeth was on the other side of the room, occupied by an endless stream of neighbors. Darcy could not hope to get close to her. And, though she did not look at him, he sensed that she saw him standing alone, and would ascribe his silence to his acknowledged disdain for all her relations. The thought stabbed him, and not for the first time he wished she understood how hard he was trying. 

When Maria Lucas passed near him, Darcy called out to her. “Miss Lucas, is your sister in good health?”

Maria turned, surprised. Though she and Mr. Darcy had been in each other’s company many times in Kent, these were the most words that he had ever spoken to her. 

“She is, I thank you. Are Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh well?”

“Yes,” Darcy replied, though he’d not heard from his aunt in some time. “I hope you may return to Kent by and by. It is lovely in the summer and autumn.” 

“Mama and I will go in November, after Charlotte’s confinement.” Maria realized what she’d alluded to only after she’d spoken, and blushed. 

“I’m sure your sister will welcome your assistance.” Silence followed, as Darcy struggled to think of another topic that would interest Maria Lucas. 

Just then Kitty walked up to them, motivated both by curiosity and a desire to rescue her friend if needed. Darcy bowed to her. “Miss Catherine, my congratulations to you and your family.” 

“Oh, thank you, sir.” Kitty felt even more confusion at Mr. Darcy’s attentions than Maria. 

Darcy’s eyes darted between the two women. Finally, in desperation, he asked whether the balls at the Assembly Room had begun for the season. They had. A few more questions, and Maria and Kitty were enthusiastically conversing about quadrilles and cotillions, and at last Darcy could just listen and breathe.


	3. Chapter 3

Across the room, as Lizzy endured the well wishes of seemingly every person from within 10 miles of Meryton, she watched Darcy from the corner of her eye. He was speaking with Kitty and Maria Lucas. 

He surprised her, as he seemed to do always. Mr. Darcy was full of surprises. When she expected him to be cold and withdrawn, he was kind and solicitous. And yet, when he came with Bingley to Longbourn in September and Lizzy longed for him to speak with her, he stayed silent. 

Though he remained far from her, she considered how many of her relations and friends - her aunt and uncle and now Maria Lucas and even Kitty - benefited from his newly pleasing address. 

She considered that perhaps her words in April had had an effect, a small effect, to make him more engaging. 

Perhaps he could be generous with her now because he considered her a valued acquaintance, and the sister of his friend’s new wife, but would contemplate nothing more. Indeed, how could he ever ponder renewing his addresses to the woman who’d scorned him. And to become brother-in-law to Wickham! It was impossible. 

Perhaps his manners had softened elsewhere as well. Mr. Darcy was a handsome man, Elizabeth acknowledged. And rich. If his manners improved, he would be a favorite everywhere. Any woman, including a woman far more sensible than Miss Bingley, would welcome his advances with gratitude. 

Perhaps he had met someone else during the season. A lady of fortune and beauty and education. Someone without a foolish mother or loathsome brother. 

Perhaps that is why he treated Elizabeth with such ease in Derbyshire: he was in love with someone else. He had taken his handsome form and large estate and newly agreeable manners elsewhere, and was now secure in the affections of another lady who was far and away Elizabeth’s superior. 

As soon as Lizzy arrived at this conjecture, she accepted it as fact, with all the sense of a rational creature who is irrationally in love. 

Lizzy felt too miserable to approach him, and so stayed in place and endured neighbor after neighbor who offered benevolent hopes that she’d soon follow her sister to the altar. She could only watch him move about the room, exchanging words with Maria Lucas and Kitty, then Sir William, then even Mary, before finally settling into a long conversation with her uncle - in short, watch him make himself agreeable to everyone but her. 

At length Darcy approached the Bennets to take his leave. He aimed to reach London before dark. 

“Away so quickly, Mr. Darcy,” Mrs. Bennet said disapprovingly, for she disapproved of everything Mr. Darcy did as a matter of principle. 

“I do not wish to be an imposition on the bride and groom, Mrs. Bennet.” 

“We’ll see you again soon, I hope,” Lizzy interjected. It was all the boldness she could manage. Mr. Darcy looked away from Mrs. Bennet and towards her. “I hope so too, Miss Bennet.” 

He bowed and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People didn’t generally travel for weddings in the Regency era, so I imagine Darcy and the Gardiners were the only out-of-town guests. The Bingley sisters are still way up north, where they might as well remain for the entire story, since I don’t like them :)


	4. Chapter 4

Mr. Darcy arrived in town with a mission: to arrange the purchase and transport of sufficient foodstuffs to feed his tenants through the winter. Last month’s heavy rains and hail had reduced crop yields across the northern counties, and food would be scarce and expensive there. Darcy already owned a warehouse in eastern London, near Gracechurch Street, and he intended to make the needed arrangements to fill it. 

This task could not occupy his mind to the exclusion of all else, however. He thought of Elizabeth constantly. Her rejection stung him still. “I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry.” Such hatred could perhaps cool to indifference in time, but love? 

And worst of all, her abhorrence was well founded. He had behaved towards her abominably. The memory of the things he had said to her - insults guised as a proposal! - made him grimace. No, she hated him, and he deserved to be hated. 

And yet, when they met in Derbyshire, she did not respond with repugnance. And when he had seen her at Longbourn since, she had always been polite, even kind. When he left the wedding breakfast, she had said, affirmatively offered, that she hoped to see him again soon. All this indicated that she had softened towards him. Perhaps, over time, she could soften more. 

Beyond this endless conjecture, Darcy just missed her. Missed her smile and laugh; her face and figure. He thought of the latter as much as the former, truth be told. How he wanted to see her again, and to have some reason to touch her. 

Whatever the path, Darcy’s thoughts always led to this same place. Then he would put aside his letter or book or any other distraction and allow Elizabeth to occupy his mind entirely for a little while.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days after his arrival in London, Darcy received a letter from Bingley, full of illegible praise for his wonderful wife. A few paragraphs down the script became more clear, which caused Darcy some concern: “The Bennets, and indeed the whole neighborhood, share our joy. We have had well wishers everyday, from before breakfast until late, and invitations every evening. Jane and I had initially hoped for more time to ourselves, but we’re so happy to see all our neighbors so happy, and we anticipate the excitement must lessen eventually...”

Darcy frowned as he considered his friend’s situation, and (from his own experience) conjectured what Bingley must have hoped for most upon marriage. And yet, in the first days of his betroval, to have visitors arrive before breakfast and dinner invitations every night!

A plan quickly came to him. Darcy needed to travel to Pemberley to oversee the distribution of food. He would offer Mr. and Mrs. Bingley the use of his own home in London during his travels. No one need know that they were there, and they could be as private or open as they liked. 

Darcy’s thoughts then turned (as they always did) to Elizabeth, and he formed an addendum with an additional motive. He would return to the Bingleys after a fortnight and celebrate their marriage by throwing a ball. Bingley would love nothing better, and many of his boyhood friends lived in London year round. 

Perhaps Elizabeth would be prevailed upon by her sister or aunt to come to London to attend. Darcy could neglect his duties as host long enough to dance with her once. Even twice. He would hold her hand or touch her shoulder or guide her person, as the leading lady required. Darcy smiled. 

He wrote to his friend with the offer. A day and a half later he received Bingley's enthusiastic response, which included a list of 40 names (the first few nearly indecipherable, the reminder written in Mrs. Bingley’s elegant hand) to invite. Darcy knew them all only slightly through Bingley, but that was no matter. He arranged for cards to be sent around as soon as possible and took steps to leave town on the following Wednesday, immediately after Mr. and Mrs. Bingley’s arrival.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Mr. Darcy checked on the progress at his warehouse. Then, as he was nearby, he stopped to call on the Gardeners, with the intention of inviting them to the ball, and perhaps to hint that any of the ladies from Longbourn were also welcome. 

All his carefully laid plans were halted, however, when he walked into the drawing room and discovered Mrs. Gardener sitting with Elizabeth herself. 

“Miss Bennet.” He tried not to stammer. “I did not know you were in town.” 

“I came with my aunt and uncle,” she said, confused as well, or perhaps unhappy to see him. He could not tell. 

Darcy sat, asked after her family, and conveyed the invitation to the ball. Mrs. Gardener gladly accepted for them. 

“I just had a letter from Jane; she told me of your generous offer of your home,” Elizabeth added. 

“It was nothing. I have to go to Pemberley directly after I greet them.”

“You must spend many weeks each year in a carriage. I understand now why you call 50 miles an easy distance.” Lizzy realized her words perhaps alluded to his two trips to London in August, and she blushed. 

Darcy wondered if she blamed him for staying away during Bingley’s engagement, and wished to assure her that he did not travel by choice. “More this year than any other. If I did not have to go, I would not. I would much rather stay in town, or previously in Hertfordshire.” Darcy stopped. Normally he prided himself on his eloquence of speech. And yet, he now struggled to convey his point. 

Mrs. Gardener recognized the embarrassment of both parties and took up the management of the conversation. She asked about the flood, which they’d heard about only broadly. Darcy answered with as much fluency as he could. After a quarter of an hour, he excused himself and escaped.


	7. Chapter 7

Mr. and Mrs. Gardener had long assumed that their niece was already, secretly, engaged to Mr. Darcy. Nothing else could explain Lizzy’s confiding in him about Lydia’s elopement, and his immediate actions to save Lydia and the whole Bennet family from scandal. The Gardiners did not know why the couple chose to keep their attachment secret, but regardless, they were certain that an attachment had taken place. 

Doubts formed slowly, beginning when they arrived at Longbourn for the wedding. Mr. Darcy had not been there for a month. But a crisis on his estate seemed a justifiable excuse. The Gardiners were certain that the couple would slyly seek out each other’s company at the wedding breakfast, but they did not. The Gardeners watched each one, engrossed by other people, until Mr. Gardener went to Mr. Darcy to discreetly sort out if anything had happened. Mr. Darcy was polite as always, but made no mention of Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth was downcast after the party, to a degree not explained by the removal of her sister by a mere three miles. Whatever had happened, Mrs. Gardener’s heart broke for her. She invited Elizabeth to come to London with them until Christmas, with the hopes that it might lift her spirits and perhaps allow her to see Mr. Darcy again. For, whatever lovers’ quarrel had occurred, the Gardiners felt certain of Mr. Darcy’s love for Lizzy, and so believed that whatever misunderstanding had occurred would be quickly repaired. 

When the servant announced Mr. Darcy’s arrival, Mrs. Gardiner assumed that he called to see Elizabeth and all would be soon settled. But then she saw his hesitation at Lizzy’s presence and their mutual embarrassment. Perhaps it was a more complicated quarrel, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

For the whole next day, in church and after, Darcy would periodically remember the awkwardness of his meeting with Elizabeth and let out a quiet, involuntary groan. 

He had done everything in his power to address the shortcomings that Elizabeth had identified in him. His arrogance, his conceit, his selfish disdain for the feelings of others... Darcy shivered at the memory. 

Yet all his efforts to better himself meant nothing if he remained cold and silent towards Elizabeth. And he had not been able to really speak with her for a long time, ever since he’d fallen in love with her. He remembered walking with her from the Rosings gate to the parsonage, so many times. They’d largely walked in silence. He’d assumed her silence meant she understood him, but it did not. To change her regard, he had to speak to her and, somehow, prevail on her to speak to him. 

That evening Darcy paced as he considered the situation. After several minutes, he darted to his writing table and, before he could reason his way out of it, began a list:

London?  
The Bingleys  
Books (This he crossed out)  
Theatre  
Music  
The Gardiners  
The Bingleys  
Childhood  
Favorite places seen or to see 

…

and so the list continued. It was easy, once he considered all the times he’d wondered about Elizabeth’s extraordinary mind. He read the list aloud repeatedly, until it was memorized. Then he retired to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day in the Gardiners’ drawing room, Darcy felt more confident as he greeted Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet and sat down between them. After the necessary enquirers, he turned to Elizabeth and asked, “do you regularly spend time in London?” 

Elizabeth answered slowly: “my aunt and uncle are kind enough to have Jane or me here for some part of every year. I enjoy it very much.” 

Darcy nodded to Mrs. Gardiner, then said to Elizabeth, “yes, the pace here fits with the liveliness of your character.”

“Thank you,” said Elizabeth. She paused. In truth, she missed her long country walks, but she could not confess this in front of her aunt. “Tell me, do you really prefer it here, over Pemberley?”

Darcy started. “No, not at all. I much prefer the country over town.” 

Elizabeth smiled, slightly. “You do not find it too confined and unvarying for your taste?”

“You know enough of me to see that it does not. I prefer confined and unvarying company, so long as I have those I truly care for with me.” 

A brief silence followed. Mrs. Gardiner smiled and excused herself to check on the children. Elizabeth considered his words - could he mean her? Or his sister? Or the new lady of his acquaintance? Each possibility sent a new wave of emotion through her. 

At last she spoke. “I suppose you must have been much alone, in your childhood at Pemberley?” 

“Yes.” This caused Darcy to think of Wickham, a topic he wished to avoid. “It was a very different childhood from yours at Longbourn, I am sure.”

“Oh yes, ours was always a very noisy and crowded home. I escaped into the garden as often as I could.” 

“And what did you do there?”

…

And so their conversation continued, quite pleasantly, for more than an hour. At length Mrs. Gardiner returned to remind Lizzy that they had an evening invitation for which she needed to dress. Darcy reluctantly rose and took his leave. 

“I hope you have a safe journey to Derbyshire, Mr. Darcy,” said Mrs. Gardiner. 

“Of course, we shall not see you again until the ball,” said Elizabeth, with sufficient regret in her voice as to make Darcy start. 

“Do you wish to see me again?” he asked, with a great deal of feeling. He then recollected himself. They both blushed; Elizabeth looked away. Mrs. Gardiner smiled. “I will call tomorrow, if that is agreeable,” he offered. 

Elizabeth, discombobulated, could only nod and mutter a quiet yes. Mrs. Gardiner spoke for her: “That would be lovely, Mr. Darcy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading/commenting/giving kudos! I don’t normally write fanfic, and this is a lot of fun. You’re a lovely community.


	10. Chapter 10

Darcy was punctual the next day and spent the whole morning working his way through the remainder of his conversational list. 

Along the way, he told Elizabeth about his first introduction to Bingley three years before, shortly after the death of Bingley’s father. “I lost my own father at the same age, and so our friendship grew from mutual sympathy, though we had different temperaments and responsibilities that made our situations very different. At 22 I inherited Pemberley, with nearly 200 people under my care. And in the following year I lost both my mother and my steward, so had to manage the estate and care for an 11 year old girl. It was,” Darcy paused. “Overwhelming.” 

“I cannot imagine it.” 

“My father’s death was unexpected. I was not prepared.” Darcy stared at the wall as he spoke, but when he turned to look at Elizabeth, he saw sympathy on her face. Perhaps she was learning to understand him, and to forgive him. 

They lost all track of time as they spoke, until Mrs. Gardiner (who had been more away from the drawing room as in it) asked Mr. Darcy to stay for dinner. This prospect embarrassed Elizabeth at first - her aunt and uncle did not keep a grand table - until she remembered that he had dined there once before, seemingly without disdain. Her mortification soon returned, however, when the two eldest Gardiner children ran into the room to protest their exclusion from the meal. They had been promised dinner with their parents and aunt in return for some task, which they had completed that morning, and now felt a great deal of injustice. Mrs. Gardiner, who had chased after them into the room, began to scold them not to be rude in front of their guest, but Mr. Darcy interrupted that he had no objection to dining with the two children. 

Thus, at 5 o’clock, Mr. Darcy, in half-dress and boots, sat down to a single course dinner in Cheapside, with a tradesman and an eight year old boy as his immediate companions. Elizabeth, who was across from him, took in the scene with a mix of self-consciousness and amusement. He always did surprise her. 

If Mr. Darcy felt ill at ease, he did not show it. He instigated a conversation with the boy, who loved boats above all else and could merrily list all the vessels that passed on the Thames. After some time Mr. Darcy turned his attention to the little girl, seated next to Elizabeth, and asked the name of her doll, which the girl had reluctantly left on the sideboard before sitting down. He then remarked that, “she looks very much like the doll my sister used to have. Her name was Clara. Do you think Clara and Sophie would be friends?” 

When Darcy dared glance at Elizabeth, her face seemed softer than he’d ever seen before, and her eyes held - astonishment? Affection, perhaps? Love? He couldn’t be sure. But perhaps his efforts were working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke with book cannon! Did you catch it? The Gardiners’ two eldest children are both girls in the book, but I wanted Darcy to talk with an enthusiastic little boy. 
> 
> I have a new theory that Darcy’s mother actually outlived his father, because otherwise I’d think his father would have chosen someone older be co-guardian. I read somewhere that it was common for a child to have both male and female guardians, with the male guardian(s) making all the legal choices and the female guardian providing emotional support to the child. The female guardian had no legal power and could not change or pass on guardian rights in her will. And it was common to have multiple male guardians in case one of the men died.
> 
> So, Darcy’s dad dies and leaves guardianship to Darcy, Fitzwilliam, and Darcy’s mom. I’d imagine he chose the two barely-legal young men as co-guardians because they wouldn’t interfere with Lady Darcy’s raising Georgiana, whereas an older or more distant relative might. Then Lady Darcy dies, so now the two barely-legal young men share guardianship.


	11. Chapter 11

After greeting the Bingleys the next morning, Darcy left immediately for Derbyshire, anxious to arrive by Saturday. The situation there was not so overwhelming as on his prior visit, and he spent his evenings peacefully listening to Georgiana play. She asked all about Mr. Bingley’s wedding and expressed excitement at the prospect of a closer intimacy with Miss Bennet due to the marriage. 

When Darcy told Georgiana that he would return to town to throw a ball for the Bingleys, with Miss Bennet in attendance, Georgiana expressed a desire to come with him, and see the decorations and catch a glimpse of all the guests in their finery. “But brother, you normally hate balls.” She paused. “You must like Mr. Bingley and his wife very much, don’t you?”

Darcy smiled, but did not look to see if his sister’s face betrayed any cleverness. “I do, very much.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strictly speaking, this chapter and the next aren’t necessary: you could read and understand the story without them. But please indulge me.

Darcy and Georgiana returned to London the day before the ball and reunited with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley, who were more agreeable even than usual. They relished their two weeks of quiet and had seen no one but Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Lizzy, who dined with them several times. Darcy looked about the room and wondered at Elizabeth’s thoughts at his house, at this very room, for she must have sat exactly here. Did she approve? 

He remained distracted through dinner, until the ladies retired and he and Bingley sat alone together. Bingley was enthusiastically discussing his many friends who would attend tomorrow. “It’s very good of you, Darcy. A year ago you near fled Netherfield to avoid my ball, and now you’re throwing me one yourself. It’s remarkably generous.” 

“I’m happy to do it, Bingley. And you know I don’t mind balls, if I have friends there.”

“Yes, but Darcy, you won’t really have friends here, except for Jane and myself and Miss Bennet, which makes it all the more generous.” Bingley took a drink. “Darcy, could you perhaps like Lizzy? Your attentions to her in Derbyshire made it seem that you had an interest, but it may just be a fancy of mine. Do you think you could like her?”

Darcy smiled, charmed by his friend’s openness and relieved that the details of his history with Elizabeth had not reached him. “If you’re playing matchmaker, I’m afraid the stumbling block would lie before Miss Bennet more than myself.” 

“Jane thought that too.”

Darcy sat up. “What did Jane say?” 

“She only reminded me of what you said the night we first met, at the public ball in Meryton. I encouraged you to dance with Lizzy, and you said she was too plain for you. I’m afraid Lizzy overheard and formed a dislike for you.” 

“What?” Darcy’s face went white, then red. “I never called Miss Bennet plain.” 

“Words to that effect. You said she wasn’t pretty enough for you to dance with, and anyway, you wouldn’t dance with a woman who’d already been slighted by all the other men. You said it when Lizzy was sitting nearby. Don’t you remember?”

Darcy’s mouth fell agape. His eyes darted about the room as he relived his acquaintance with Elizabeth. 

He remembered feeling cross that night. Had he really spoken so about a lady, and within her hearing? And to say such things about Elizabeth! In truth he’d found her handsome that evening, as he watched her laugh with her dance partners and friends, more handsome than he’d cared to admit. He remembered maligning her beauty to Miss Bingley and the others in the very early days of their acquaintance, in order to convince himself more than anything else. But to have insulted her thus - in a public forum, amidst all her neighbors, near Elizabeth herself.

“From the first moment of my acquaintance with you,” she had said, “your manners impressed me with your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others.” Darcy closed his mouth and swallowed. 

“I’m,” he swallowed again. “I’m quite a bad man, aren’t I, Bingley?”

“Not at all, Darcy! You have your moods, but all men do.”

“Except you.”

“How could I ever feel foul when I have my Jane?” Bingley replied. “It’s the easiest thing to patch up. Go out of your way to be kind to her. Compliment her.” 

“Compliment her?” Darcy wondered. “A dislike of more than a year, founded upon my unprompted and public declaration that she’s too ugly to be worth my notice, you think can be cured by compliments?”

“Well, it’s a start.” 

Darcy appreciated, but did not share, his friend’s optimism.


	13. Chapter 13

Later that night, as Bingley and Jane lay in each other’s arms, Bingley told Jane about his conversation with Darcy. 

“I do believe he likes her. He didn’t deny it, just said that he thought she disliked him, which you’ve told me is true.”

Jane had tried to keep her sister’s confidence, but given her husband’s continued interest, decided that she needed to share what she knew with him, before he ventured into dangerous territory with his friend. And so she told him: “He proposed to her.”

Bingley jumped. “What? When?” 

“Last spring, in Kent.”

“And what happened?”

“She refused him.”

“I suppose that much is obvious. But Darcy proposing! It seems so out of character. He’s so reserved, so guarded, I often wondered if he’d ever grow close to someone. And here he made an offer before I ever built up the nerve to. I wonder at it.”

“He fell in love with her.”

“Yes. Poor Darcy.” They lay together in silence for a few minutes. “Do you think there’s a chance she could change her mind?”

Jane shook her head. “She had such a strong dislike of him.” 

“But they’ve seen each other often in recent months. And in Derbyshire she seemed happy to receive his attentions.” 

Jane turned towards her husband. “Did they see much of each other in Derbyshire?” 

“Three or four times I think, over as many days. I was only present for one meeting. Then Lizzy and the Gardiners left suddenly.”

Jane considered. “Perhaps I could ask her what her opinion is now. She must have softened, for I cannot believe she would stay so strongly opposed to such a good man.” 

Bingley squeezed his wife’s shoulder. “I hope so,” he replied.


	14. Chapter 14

On the night that Darcy stayed all day at the Gardiners’, Lizzy had felt so overwhelmed with love and even assurance of his regard for her, that a fleeting peace had flowed through her body. Why else would he speak with her for so long and even stay for dinner? But a two week’s absence allowed doubts to grow up in her mind again, and she arrived at the ball certain once again that he must not love her anymore, after all. 

He and the Bingleys greeted her, and every guest, at the door. Darcy bowed deeply. “Miss Bennet,” he said. “You look even more beautiful than usual this evening.”

Lizzy colored as she curtsied back. He had never complimented her looks before. And to do so now, amidst so many people. 

“My duties here,” Darcy gestured to the line of people still arriving, “prevent me from dancing the first. But will you dance the second two dances with me?”

“I would like that very much.”

During the dance, Darcy told Lizzy about Georgiana’s presence upstairs and excitement to see her again. Then they settled into a silence. Neither found this awkward or dull, focused as each was on the face and body of the other, as they came together and separated again. 

At the end of their dances, Darcy took Lizzy’s hand and whispered in her ear to save the supper dance for him. Then he was gone, back to the card room to attend to the many gentlemen there.


	15. Chapter 15

Lizzie ate supper with Darcy, the Bingleys and Mrs. Gardiner (as Mr. Gardiner had left early). Then Jane led the other two ladies upstairs to see Georgiana, while Bingley and Darcy made the rounds to all the tables. 

Georgiana was delighted to see them and asked all about the people and happenings downstairs. After a while, as Georgiana conversed with Mrs. Gardiner, Jane took Lizzy’s hand and asked to go to her room together. 

They sat on the bed, as they had for so many years in Longbourn, and Jane asked her sister about Mr. Darcy, and how she received the attentions he paid her. 

Finally forced to speak aloud, Lizzy again doubted herself. “I would not read too much into Mr. Darcy’s actions. You know he only enjoys dancing with women whom he knows, and he has only a slight acquaintance with every other woman here.”

“But Lizzy, he’s danced with you twice, and sat down to supper with you, and hardly takes his eyes off you when you’re apart. You must be sensible to his interest in you.” 

“That I do not know. Mr. Darcy clearly likes me very much. He esteems me. But whether his emotion could overcome his repugnance at my connections and past rejection, I cannot say.” 

“Dearest Lizzy, I do not ask you to identify his regard, but your own. Could you love him?”

Lizzy stood and walked across the room and stared at the wall for a minute before turning to her sister. “Could? Oh Jane, I would if he’d have me. And even if he won’t, I confess...that I do love him now so very much.” 

Jane jumped from the bed and ran to her sister. “Lizzy, really, you do not speak in jest?”

Lizzy laughed and shook her head violently. Her eyes began to tear. “I am in earnest.” She looked back at her sister. “For what else could make me feel so elated and miserable all at once?”

“Miserable? Lizzy, be happy!”

“There’s no happiness in recognizing that I am not married to the best man I’ve ever known solely because I rejected him.” 

Jane comforted her sister - “It will all turn out well, I’m sure” - and, after a little while, they made their way back downstairs.


	16. Chapter 16

Jane and Lizzy had missed the beginning of next dance, though a gentleman soon appeared to escort Lizzy to the bottom of the line. Jane went to find her husband, who then pulled Darcy aside, a bigger smile on his face than was usual even for Bingley. 

“Well Darcy, I must offer you my congratulations. She loves you!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Lizzy just told Jane all about it. She called you the best man she’s ever known, which I’ll not take offense at.” Bingley’s smile overflowed to laughter. 

Darcy looked across the room at Elizabeth. He was very serious. “Are you certain, Bingley? Could Mrs. Bingley be mistaken?”

“My Jane does not error! It’s quite certain. Lizzy is in love with you.” 

Darcy looked serious at his friend for a moment, then smiled. He seemed to grow taller, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He glanced at Elizabeth, then smiled at Bingley once more. 

“Thank you, friend. Would you mind keeping everyone in good spirits for the remainder of the evening?”

“Of course,” Bingley bowed, still beaming. 

Darcy walked to the edge of the dance. He watched Elizabeth as she went down the line and positioned himself to be a few steps from her final position. When the dance ended, he approached her. 

“Miss Bennet” Mr. Darcy’s whole face filled with delight. “May I have the honor of the next two dances?”

Elizabeth was somewhat alarmed. “Mr. Darcy, you’ve already asked me twice.”

“Do you wish to refuse me?”

“No, but people will talk.”

“Will they? And what will they say?” 

He was teasing her. Lizzy looked at his glowing face and was confused for a moment before it all fell into place. Then she smiled back at him. “They shall say that you have been blinded to your duties as host and, indeed, to all common decorum by an overwhelming infatuation. And, for this to happen to a man of such generally good regulation, it must be very serious.” 

Darcy continued to grin. “Indeed. And do you have any objections to that, Miss Bennet?”

Each stared into the other’s eyes. “None at all.”

“Then we may dance.” And with that, he took her hand and led her to the other couples.


	17. Chapter 17

Darcy and Elizabeth danced together, without pause, for the remainder of the night. It was rude, perhaps, though Bingley and Jane attended to Bingley’s friends with graciousness. If people stared, Lizzy did not notice. She was absorbed by a sudden lightness in her body and the irresistible sensation of Darcy’s touch, and then the absence of his touch as he backed away, all the time knowing that he was so near her. 

Mrs. Gardiner did stare, and not with approval, though she liked Darcy a great deal and had helped to orchestrate the match. But, no matter his position, his behavior with her niece was unacceptable, as she expressed to Lizzy on the carriage ride home, with perhaps more force than was necessary, for she was tired. 

“Circumstances require that I ask you outright: has Mr. Darcy made you an offer? Are you engaged?”

Lizzy felt as though she were waking from a dream. She looked at the outline of her aunt, shocked. “No. I, we are not engaged.”

“Then your behavior tonight will cause some scandal.” She placed her hand on her niece’s knee. “I don’t mean to alarm you, Lizzy. I know that Mr. Darcy loves you, and I believe that you love him too. I’ve long assumed your attachment. Perhaps he will propose to you shortly and it will all be fine. But consider the ramifications if he does not. You have just introduced yourself to all your brother’s friends with quite a shocking display.”

Poor Elizabeth, so carefree moments ago, now with her heart beating rapidly again. Her aunt was right. What if he didn’t renew his addresses? She would have no standing with any of Mr. Bingley’s friends. Their world would be cut off to her. She would have to remain at Longbourn, away from Jane and Bingley’s amusing life in town. And away from him. Lizzy’s sadness and uncertainty returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Thanks for all your comments, kudos, and love


	18. Chapter 18

The servants were already awake by the time Lizzy and her aunt arrived back at Gracechurch Street. Lizzy tried to sleep for a few hours, but found herself tossing and turning, wondering if he would call and how he felt. Through it all, she remembered his smile, and it comforted her, but still she could not feel really secure. 

Finally Lizzy dressed and went downstairs for a late breakfast. Her aunt chose to remain upstairs, and so after eating Elizabeth went to the drawing room alone. 

She sat with some book in hand, flipping pages at random, until at last she heard a knock at the door and his familiar step in the hall.

He stood before her; they held each other’s gaze. Each spoke the other’s name, and then Lizzy motioned to the space next to her on the sofa. Mr. Darcy came to her and sat down. They continued to stare at each other for minutes more. At length, Darcy spoke. 

“I must apologize for my conduct towards you, throughout the first many months of our acquaintance. It was unpardonable, and your reproofs of last April were justified and necessary.” Lizzy opened her mouth to protest, but Darcy reached out and took her hand in his, and she was silent. She had never felt his touch, skin-to-skin, before. “Since then, I have tried to correct my behavior. I never wished to be proud or conceited, but was blinded to the effect of my actions on others.” Darcy squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “But dear Elizabeth, no matter how hard I work to become a better man, I know that I shall never be worthy of you. You are the best of women. The kindest, the wittiest, the most intelligent, the most handsome. You will always be my superior. And yet I am selfish, and love you with my entire heart, and so must ask you now if you could possibly see past my faults and love me too?” 

Lizzie smiled and held his gaze. “Yes, of course, but don’t be so hard on yourself, for I don’t like to hear criticism of the man I love so.” She laughed, and was surprised when Darcy responded by leaning in and kissing her, quite abruptly. 

The first moments were awkward, as she moved her lips together and did not know what to do. He likewise seemed confused, full of emotion more than action. But soon she felt nothing but pleasure at the feel of his lips on hers and his hand rubbing her arm. 

After a minute they parted. Lizzy laughed again. “Mr. Darcy, you’ll create even more scandal.” 

“How so, Miss Bennet?” He was caressing her elbow. 

“We are not engaged, sir. You have asked for my heart, but not my hand.”

“An important formality. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, will you, perhaps, agree to be my wife?”

”Nothing would give me more pleasure.” And with that, she leaned forward and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I don’t think I’ll ever write a sequel, though I have some ideas in my head. In summary: Lizzy and Darcy do smutty things in carriages, get married, and live happily ever after.


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